Mental Chains – The Gauge of Death


No, it is not.

I had a mild panic attack and a whole lot of depression this week. In fact, I’ve been in bed for the past two days (yesterday I don’t think I even got up to sit at my computer until 5 PM). It’s incredible the amount of energy drain currently going on. And I don’t see my doctor until next Tuesday.

Ugh. Slow medicine is slow.

I’m not sure my upload schedule for the next couple of weeks as I will be adjusting my medication again. Things are not working as they should. But I am alive, and I will write when I can. I’ve been distracting my mind with Starcraft 2 co-op mode and Monster Hunter World, both of which I would love to review.

So yeah. I can barely keep my eyes open right now. And yet my mind is buzzing away, daring me to think about negative things. Sucks.

Backstage Tales – Coloring Book

I have been sick over the past couple of days, and combined with the Fourth of July, I’ve taken some time to rest and get over my head cold/sinus infection. Despite this, I may or may not have burned myself trying to set off four fireworks at once. Happy late Fourth of July, everyone!

Unfortunately, my plans for writing a game review yesterday or today both flew out the door. So instead, I wanted to share a few images of something I’d love to put together someday, even if it would never sell in any meaningful quantity.

Presenting What If Worms Could Whistle: The Coloring Book! Feel free to download, print, and share with your young ‘uns!




I want to redo this one. 😀




Ooooohhh! Ghosty-goo!


I’d love to make it a history lesson.


En taro Tassadar!

I was thinking most of the book would be illustrated in color, but a few pages at the end would be blank for kids to color. I have no idea if anyone would even care to let their kids read and color in a book about big-eyed worms in funny costumes, but it would be fun to try.

Anyway, a regular review is coming up Monday, and it’s one of my favorite PC strategy titles that always calls me back to play again and again. Stay tuned!

Backstage Tales – Goopy Fish


So… My house is filled with many different art and ceramics projects, most of them decorative slab containers that my mom wanted to keep because they’re cute reminders of us kiddies when we were in elementary and junior high. Last week, however, I caught sight of this little guy, which was sculpted by my sister in junior high… and I knew exactly what I had to do.

His name is officially Goopy Fish, for I have named him this way. All my sisters think I should start an Instagram for this little ceramic fish, and I’m contemplating adding it to my weekly workload.

So, I started small:


That’s no moon. It’s a Goopy Fish. The ultimate destructive power in the universe that just wants a lick of your ice cream.

This is my first Star Wars hologram. Not too shabby, right? Shoot, I was going to link to the tutorial, but I’ve lost it. But thank you, Pattern Tool!

So what was next? Well, naturally:


There’s no boulder chase scene after this. Indy just gets buried in three tons of wet trout.

Okay, I could have done a better job on this one; I went a bit crazy with the Clone Stamp tool in the background, there. I might redo it in the future.

So I’m thinking, okay, movies about fish. Oh! Simple!


He just wants to lick all over ya. Frightening and suggestive. Not suitable for all audiences.

Too easy? Yeah, I agree. But I was able to find the Jaws font, so that’s pretty cool.

My mind was still settled on movies, so where else could I take Mr. Goopy?


Hello, Clarice. Have you met my pet fish? I think you’ll find his appetite for your company quite… voracious.

I can’t tell you how much of a nightmare it was trying to remove the moth while smoothing out her skin in the complex shadows. I couldn’t use Goopy Fish to completely cover every mistake, or else it would cover her nose. I think this one turned out pretty well.

Found the font for The Silence of the Lambs, too. Pretty metal.

Then I thought: okay, what if Goopy Fish found his way into the art world?


I’m sorry, Mr. Seurat. Though I’ve seen worse intrusions in your style.

How many Goopy Fish can you see? I think it’s hilarious for Goopy Fish to be beached and playing with a small puppy. That puppy is going to get his head gobbled immediately.

And then this one just made me laugh:


Sacré bleu! C’est du poisson britannique! Fuyons!

Bwahahaha!! I love the horse’s shocked expression. I’d be pretty shocked if fish rained from the sky all singing “God Save the King” in perfect unison, too. You can’t see the singing, obviously, but it is happening.

There will be more Goopy Fish in the future! Photoshopping him is just too much fun!


Christmas Time Update


You can definitely tell when life takes a turn when the content stops churning. Well, it never stopped per se, it just went into thirty or so pages of papers I had to write for school. But there’s good news: the end of 2017 is the year I graduate, and all the academic paper-writing will be finished. Then I can focus on more entertaining (and hopefully more financially viable) things to write about. Although I did get my 20 page paper on the stigma surrounding bipolar disorder accepted by UCUR (or Utah Conference on Undergraduate Research)! Which means I get to give a presentation on my paper to a crowd in February. I think? So that’s exciting.

I’ve reached a point in my quest to quell the bipolar that I’m not sure how much better things could be. I’m no longer exhausted 24/7 (although in this short break in time I tried to get an overnight job at a local grocery store only to quit two days later, which has permanently altered my internal clock). My brain doesn’t get quite as stuck on negative thoughts and memories (what does get stuck are strange songs I haven’t heard in years, a lot of Disney music for some reason). But I’ve lost a lot of my ability to focus when writing and studying, and I have a lot of trouble relaxing when there’s nothing going on. It also doesn’t help that I feel like I’m stuck in a vacuum, with no one around to share time with. You wouldn’t think university would be isolating, but it has been, especially these upper division classes. In other words, medically I think I’m on the right path already. But that isn’t the only thing that needs fixing.

That’s the hard part to admit. I should be celebrating right now, with finals done for the semester and finding a set of meds that work, but it’s never felt less like a Christmas than this year. Even being with family hasn’t helped bring me any closer to feeling content. Instead it’s just boredom, stuffing my face with food (not in a fun way), being annoyed and angry at family, and trying to drown out the silence of being awake at three in the morning by myself.

So while I wait for the end of school and when I can confidently start searching for self-sustaining employment (not a solution to my stated problems, to be sure), I’ll be here trying to find the confidence and time to tell more of Aeo’s story. I really want to.

Anyway, Merry Christmas, to anyone who reads this! Here’s to 2017 and even more improvement!